Family Guy – 19 May 2008
This week, I had wanted to share with you our desperate need to coach our kids through the turbulent teen years … I have just been reading some stats that really frighten me, and that frightened Oprah Winfrey too, when she covered teen sexuality in a recent show.
Statistically speaking, our teens are more than just dabbling in the area of sexuality … it’s a conversation that we need to be having with our children.
But as I was researching and reading through material for this, I came across something that Rob Parsons of Care for the Family, wrote. It struck me so deeply … you know what, this conversation is not one we have just as our kids set out on their teenage journey, and it’s certainly not just the sex talk … its about how we chose to develop them & invest ourselves into their lives. He said, “You know, my kids are grown up now. But when they were small I made some bad mistakes in terms of being just too busy. I’d get home late in the evenings. My wife had long since given up trying to talk to me at that hour of the day, but two small children hadn’t. A small boy would say, “Dad, I scored a goal today”, a little girl would say “Susan pulled my hair again.”
But I would just grunt back over the newspaper, practically in a comatose state.
And I’d be there until the phone rang … suddenly, I’d be alive & two small children would be watching me. And they weren’t stamping or kicking – it would have been better for me if they had been. But the message they were getting loud and clear was, ‘This matters to him.’ And one day, Parsons writes, it dawned on me – unless I changed, my kids’ lives were going to slip right through my fingers. I remember I’d been reading Katie a bedtime story. She’d have been about 4 years old and in the middle, the telephone would ring. She’d say, “Dad, please don’t take it”. She may well have asked me not to breathe. I’d dive downstairs, and take the call. And then another one, and then I’d make a few calls myself. And suddenly, I’d remember that I’d not turned the frog back from a prince and I’d rush back up stairs. But little eyes had fought to stay awake as long as they possibly could.” I read this from Rob Parsons at the beginning of this week … I had just spent the weekend working, one of those unavoidable things, and I was hit by the power of it … one of those great teachable moments! If we want our children to not just listen to us when they are in their teens, but to actually hear what we’re saying enough to respect our decisions and follow them, we have to take the time to be there for them at 2, at 4 … on the first day of school, for their fist big disappointment … Kids want us, not the things we think we need to or can give them.
So let’s get the conversation started with our kids today! Don’t wait for the ‘right moment’ … because the right moment is now. You can get a copy of this online, at family.org.nz. And I’ll catch you next week with more from the Family Guy.
|