Building a Pure Marriage
"He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me." - Psalm 18:19, All references NIV unless otherwise specified.
Almost every week, I receive an e-mail from a woman from somewhere across the country whose marriage has been shaken to the very core by impurity. With a note of desperation, she expresses her anguish, fear and anger. Each of these women explain their mate's plunge into impurity - everything from addiction to pornography to being arrested for voyeurism.
Why do they contact me for help with such heart-rending struggles? Not because I'm a professional counselor (which I'm not). Rather, because I'm a fellow struggler who, through many tears, much prayer and abundant mercy from God, has found a good and spacious place.
There have been moments where I didn't think my husband Dave and I would make it. Although he had fought impurity since he was 12, his battle with sexual addiction took him places I never dreamed could be part of a Christian marriage. And as the firstborn daughter of an alcoholic, I was well versed in codependency. Eventually, the near break-up of our marriage thrust us both into recovery, including extensive counseling.
Yet, priceless gifts have resulted from our battles. Sexual addiction drove me to the depths of insecurity, but also into the arms of my God - culminating in my first book. I've traveled extensively, speaking and hearing women's stories. Eventually, Dave and I decided to come forward with our battles, and we started doing purity seminars.
The journey has been one that I would have never chosen for myself, but nonetheless a testimony to the redemptive power of God.
Why These Lessons?
"Honor marriage and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband..." Hebrews 13:4, The Message
For Dave and me, the sacredness of intimacy is without a doubt our greatest treasure - one that we've fought for and continue to fight for daily. In this series of articles, you'll find some of the lessons we've learned, including:
- Understanding the unique gifts that each of us bring to intimacy
- Unveiling the counterfeits that Satan and our society propose
- Setting boundaries that protect our marriages from Satan's interference
- Finding healing and hope after heartache
Here's the great news! God has a beautiful plan for every married couple, even those of us who have suffered losses. Ready to get started? Let's take a walk together all the way back to the Garden of Eden.