Managing Conflict: My Attitude Toward My Spouse
Over the years my experience working with couples, as well as my own study of both Scripture and research, have led me to really appreciate the role that attitude plays in my life. It affects my job, faith, and relationships especially my relationship with my wife.
In marriage, it is very important to check our attitudes and discern whether our thinking is based on truth or misconceptions. The truth sets us free (John 8:32), not necessarily what we perceive to be the truth. If left unchecked, distorted perceptions can poison our attitudes. And a poisoned attitude toward a spouse can tear down a relationship rather quickly.
Time for a Checkup
When I find myself feeling and acting negatively toward my wife, I start addressing it by doing an attitude check:
- Is my spirit right toward her?
- Are the things I believe about her true or false?
- Is she really unconcerned about what I am going through right now?
- Does she really respond a certain way all the time?
- Is she really ignoring my needs, on purpose?
- "Guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth." (Malachi 2:15)
- "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the well spring of life." (Proverbs 4:23)
- "... Be transformed by the renewing of your mind." (Romans 12:2)